You know whats a bad idea....

Online shopping while drunk.

*edit: and bloggin while drunk.

Everything is different,

but it should all stay the same.

Trust No One

The types of people who come into a burger restaurant

Burger from my work

The Jokester: Unable to order like a human being, the jokester feels the need to make cheesy jokes throughout his order to lighten the mood. Little does he know, he is one of many and I've heard them all before.  Ex. After ordering many toppings on his burger "Hehe, do you think they'll be enough room for the meat haha?" Yes, yes there will be, so stop.

The Fatty: Too preoccupied with the expectations of burgers to even bother saying hello to the cashier, he struggles to spit out his toppings just overjoyed by the food he will soon be ingesting. His words are usually punctuated by heavy breathing, just standing is a struggle. Ex.  *heavy breath* "Burger, cheese, bacon, uhhh, all-dressed." *heavy breath*

The Way Too Nice Girl:  This particular type of customer seems very interested in being nice to the cashier, but she's not. She's not actually listening to what you're saying, too caught up with being 'nice' she seems fake and its obvious. Ex.
Her: Hi! How are you today?!
Me: Sad and despondent.
Her: Thats great! So I'll have a hamburger... etc.

The Baller: This customer is more interested in throwing his money on the counter for other people to see than in the food that he will soon be eating. He won't look you in the eye because you work at a burger restaurant and surely must be a drain on society with now worth outside of serving him a burger.  He will probably be texting while ordering or hooked up to his bluetooth device. Once the order is complete he will throw either a 50 or a 100 on the counter. Ex.
Him: *talking on his bluetooth* Hey ya sorry, just a minute, I'm ordering food. *to me* I'll just have a fries.
Me: That'll be $3.45
Him: *throws a hundred on the counter and continues talking on phone*

The Stoner: This customer is high as fuck. He is unaware of his surroundings but driven by an undeniable urge to eat anything and everything. He's nice, but confused, which sometimes makes taking his order a little annoying, but generally a good guy. Ex.
Him: Uhhh can I get a burger, and a poutine, and a milkshake.
Me: What do you want on the burger?
Him: uhhh, what? everything? huh?
Me: okay... I'm just gonna choose for you
Him: Uhh, okay, thanks man!

The Vegetarian: Why a vegetarian would wander into a burger restaurant is beyond me, but it happens much more often than expected. They are very entitled to their meatless alternatives. Ex.
Her: Umm do you have any vegetarian options?
Me: Uhh yeah, we have a portobello burger.
Her: You don't have a tofu burger
Me: No sorry.
Her: Why not?
Me: I dunno, I didn't make the menu.
Her: Fine, I'll have the portobello burger.

More to Come!

True Irony

The sun goes down and the world goes dancing.

Shut up, Charles.

Religious Fundamentalism

"I don't know what you just said because I was thinking about Batman"

Multipass

I need to know this for reasons

(500) Days of Britta

If only this were real.
#sixseasonsandamovie

Because you're 20, thats why, cause your a 20 year old little piece of shit and have no idea how the world works, because you think you deserve better, you think your too interesting a person to have a shitty job.

The wise words of Lois C.K. I try to remember this bit of his stand up every time I get in a and mood at work simply for being at work, but its hard. Is it wrong that I really do find that I am too interesting, and too smart a person to be doing the job I am in. For me, what I find infinitely more terrifying is to be able to head to a shitty minimum wage job everyday and feel happy. I feel like I am meant for more, and I know, as a student, that I'm simply paying my dues before the good stuff (hopefully) comes along, but in knowing that does that mean I should be happy working a terrible job? Basically, what I'm trying to say is that if you ever come to my job and I'm rude or surly with you, its because I think I'm better than my job, and probably better than you. Sorry.

The award for father of the year goes to...

Bender "Bending" Rodriguez! In the first half of the one hour season premiere of Futurama season 7, we got to see what it would be like if Bender had a child with Wanda Sykes (if Wanda Sykes was a vending machine that sells radioactive slurm loko). The result was Ben "Vending" Rodriguez an adorably hapless little robot whose only wish is to be able to bend like his father. However, due to the fact that his mother had no arms, Ben is unequipped with the necessary software to bend and the only way that he can get it is by replacing his memory chip thus eliminating all memories of growing up with his father. The most tragic part about this is that Bender, despite all his crude personality traits, loved his son. At first he was willing to renounce his son until he realized how poorly Ben was being treated by his neglectful mother. He even went as far as to kidnap his son back after his mother had one a custody battle. And in the end Bender was willing to erase his sons memory to allow for him to follow through with his dream to become a bending unit. This was probably the most touching episode of Futurama not involving the Fry and Leela love affair. As far as the rest of the episode goes, it wasn't so great. Fry became addicted to slurm loko and then eventually started glowing radioactively. No member of the Planet Express crew did anything to try and help Fry with his new addiction, instead they cast him out of the Planet Express team and only went back for him when they needed his radioactively glow to guide them through the smog (like rudolph) in order to get Ben to university in time for registration. All in all, Futurama is back for the summer and all is right with the jungle.

Stu Pickles is pretty much who I want to be when I grow up.

I COULD GROW A BEARD IF I WANTED I JUST DON’T WANT TO.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/i-swear-im-not-a-child/

I love Brad Pike. He just gets me. We're soul mates, I'm sure of that. The only writer on thought catalog worth reading.

On being non-confrontational.

I'm a total wimp. Its hard for me to stand up for myself, and I tend, sometimes naively, to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. This however has led to me getting increasingly annoyed with people that I genuinely like. The problem with being so non-confrontational is that things tend to pile up. So my roommate forgot to do his dishes, fine, i'll pick up the slack. Oh? he didn't do them again, he's just forgetful, i'll just do them. But after a while it becomes increasingly hard to deal with this behaviour. Things build up, emotions build up, and then you end up being angry with someone when it really isn't there fault. I didn't have to do his dishes, I don't have to clean up after people, but I do, and I never say a word. I'll let loose a passive aggressive quip every now and again, but rarely will I confront the situation head on. My goal now is to be just a little more confrontational, sure people do deserve the benefit of the doubt sometimes, but other times they just need to be told of their transgressions and be made aware. I have no doubt in my mind that a little confrontation is healthy. There needs to be a dialogue between people, and unfortunately, you can't have a dialogue if you don't open up your mouth. But herein lies my problem, every time I try and say these things the words don't come out, instead there are incoherent sounds, and then a quick change of subject to something less, well, confrontational. I know I should just grow a pair and speak up on my behalf especially when I feel justified in my views. I suppose no one likes confrontation, but its a necessary aspect of the human experience and I need to work on it. But for the time being it seems i'll still have to change my roommate's cat's litter, and clean up his messes, maybe I should just link him to this blog post, but that won't help me with my problem with confrontation. I should also point out that I love my roommate and thats why I put up with these things. I'm also sure that he would be total receptive if I confronted him on any of these issues, so the problem remains mine. I just find when it comes to confrontation I have this fear that people will resent me for my views, I just don't want to step on any toes. The only problem with that is that in life, some peoples toes need to be stepped on if you want to move forward. And with that another post about 20-something-white-kid-problems comes to an end. Thanks for listening.

Friend Request

Oh you're right Facebook, I AM friends with Casseroles Canada...
Really?

Cats, Cats, Cats!

There a few things better than waking up to a tiny kitten sleeping beside your head.

I guess I'm young, but I feel so weary.

Lately I've been going out a lot, and I enjoy it. I really do. There are few things better than numbing your senses and inhibitions with alcohol and substances surrounded by a group of people that you love. Recently, however, I had a sober discussion with my friend about "why?" Just why do we do this? Why do we as humans, specifically, young humans, feel the need to constantly alter their natural state of sobriety. Why should we? Why do different rules apply for when we are sober and for when we aren't. Why is it that if I feel attracted to a stranger on the street and decide to approach them and introduce myself and try to solicit a date that I would be considered "weird" or sketchy?" Yet if I'm in a bar I can, without social repercussions (for the most part), just go up to any odd person on the dance floor and without introduction start dancing with them, in an attempt to touch them, in an attempt to kiss  them, in an attempt to... well... you know.  Obviously, not all such attempts are successful but when your in a bar and the music is playing and the drinks are flowing, different rules apply. You aren't considered creepy for an attempt at a connection when you're packed tightly into a tiny, dark room imbibing drink after drink. I don't have any answers to these question, a few theories, but none developed enough to put into coherent sentences. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, as much as I enjoy going out, impairing my senses and having a good time, I just don't fully understand why we do it. Maybe I'm just at the point in my life where thats what I need to get to what comes after. All I know is that it takes its toll. The late nights add up. But why does it seem so much harder to have fun, or make connections unimpaired. And with that I will end this post and continue to deal with my first world, twenty-something problems.

The Last Letter

The Last Letter

A lovely cover based on the Carter family's version of this song. A sad, sad love song.

"If you don't love me, I wish you would leave me alone."

Gonna try to do this for real now.

Its the summer and I feel like a need a creative outlet separate from random posts on Facebook (apparently my computer autocorrects Facebook to have a capital F). So i'll be posting some of my musings and things that I find fun, interesting or stimulating here, lets hope this works out ^_^